Email And Hair Loss – The USPS Gets It’s Due

I Am The Che Of Emails!

 Che was a muderous bastard

 

I was aked the other day if all English people speak or sound alike. 

Can’t know – I haven’t heard ALL of them speak. 

And, I just can’t get past the fact that they all look alike. 

Parts of Canada are actually in France, some lawyers are politicians and in nature, you rarely see extremely rare creatures; which makes them very rare. 

Uhmmm…rare. 

I love a rare steak – just get it close to the coals for a couple of minutes on each side, and it is done. 

Got a new phone today; one of those “androids”. My phone is now officially smarter than me, and much of humankind. 

I now face the world armed with a PC, a laptop, an android, two digital cameras, a kindle and a web cam; as well as various pairs of shoes, pants and shirts. 

I’m sitting in my temporary “new place” and logging into this blog via my desktop PC sitting 160 miles away, using either my laptop or my phone. 

Aint technology grand? 

Yet a couple of hours ago, I put postage stamps on three letters, drove to the post office and mailed them. 

That crap can’t last much longer unless the gov’t somehow figures out to let all US email be routed through post office servers. 

Emails will be opened by crooked or nosy PO personnel, and any attachments of value will be stripped out or compromised, lazy PO personnel will just delete vast numbers of emails so that they won’t have to process them, email delivery will go from a matter of seconds to a matter of 3 to 5 working days for First Class emails, and 7 to 11 days for Standard Class emails, Bound Printed Matter and Parcel Post emails might take weeks to be delivered. 

You never know what you’re gonna get in terms of your email letter carrier either. 

Some days he\she might be in a good mood, smiling and joking around with you, petting your dog; as he\she walks down your street, putting emails into your email box. Other days, he\she might be pissed off because the significant other was caught after 3 years of screwing around with one of the other email letter carriers, as PO people do; and be mindlessly grumbling whilst planning a shooting spree back at the good old PO, putting your emails into the neighbors email box, and theirs into yours; and in some cases, driving carelessly through your neighborhood with their windows down; emails flying unoticed out the back window, blown by the wind for blocks; never to be delivered to the intended recipients; possibly picked up – along with the attachments – by people who gehen zu fuss; and maybe even misappropriated; or if sent to some Latin American countries, be gathered up to be used as digital toilet paper. 

Entire industries will spring up based upon recycling read, discarded or lost emails. 

Massive flash drives will be built to store these waste emails whilst enroute to the huge facilities the govt will build to ensure proper disposal of these waste emails. 

Superfunds will be created against the possibility that waste email containers could rupture before the passage of the 500 years after deletion or disposal deemed necessary to render waste emails safe, and not a threat to ground water or the environment in total. 

All of these facts, of course, mean that the cost of sending emails will double, triple or even quadruple, over current costs, even while the delvery rates, open rates and read rates plummet. 

I suggest that you contact your local officials, your State officials and your national representatives; and The Bureau of Indian Affairs; and express your concerns just as I have worded mine here. 

I’m sure you’ll get some consideration.

Radiation – It Aint What It Used To Be.

It appears that the dangers of radiation have been greatly over exaggerated for, well as long as we have been able to produce it at will.

The ongoing tragedy in Japan has proven that radioactive water 500 times more radioactive than previously considered safe; is not a threat in the least to the ocean or the sea life swimming in the ocean, at the point of entry into the ocean of that formerly “toxic” mix.

It is now even safe to consume the sea life that swins in said water.

Based upon facts unknown until this disaster struck, the Japanese authorities have even raised the threshold of “safe” levels of radiation.

Never let it be said that nothing good ever comes from something horrific on an unimaginable scale.

This disaster makes hurricane Katrina look like a late summer shower; and I was there in Katrina.

God help these folks.

Best hair growth remedies – the role of hair in sexuality.

Hair defines sexuality, obviously.

Guys with lots of hair after the age of 25 are generally perceived as being “boyish”; whereas guys with less hair are perceived as being more “manly”. “I rubbed it out on the bed post”, was a funny thing a bald friend used to say all the time, followed by, “Hormones are for two things – you use yours however you wish”, followed by great laughter from all of the boyish and older guys listening at the time.

Sadly, for whatever callings that occur within us; his hormones dictated that he attempt to have “relations” with animals in public; resulting in his arrest and incarceration after being discovered at the local zoo behind a dumpster with a duck and a raccoon – the raccoon apparently being accustomed to the whole scenario and quite willing.

Naturally, this had an adverse impact upon his profession as a Catholic priest, but at the same time; there was an audible sigh of relief from the local Catholic schools, and the parents of the kids that attend them.

“It was only a duck; and a raccoon”, they said.

Happily, said nature lover “landed on his feet”  after losing his occupation; and was elected to public office based upon the promise of maintaining the same high standards of conduct that everyone expected from him all along.

So, back to best hair growth remedies and sexuality, today I had one of those funny but true moments; I read a definition of a word that I have never come across before:

Slut: A woman with the character of a man.

Best hair growth remedies- big news in the world of hair!

I haven’t posted in a few days – my apologies to everyone who anxiously awaits my new words- or granting a back link.

I might not be making this post, if not for the incredibly important news that I have just come across, and the way in which this news will impact best hair growth remedies. Hold on tight – this is big!

It would seem that a young man in San Francisco, USA, has discovered the key to immortality. In fact, you can buy immortality for a ridiculously low price in the form of rings that you wear while sleeping.

Now, obviously; the ability to grow new hair pales in comparison to living forever,  slightly. In fact, if I had to make a list of the ten most important things we should be worried about, that list would be:

  1. Live forever
  2. Have lots of hair

Whole new industries are going to spring up around this “immortality” thing, other industries; such as life insurance; well, not so good.

I will get back to regular posting shortly; until then, check out this video from the inventor of immortality…

best hair growth remedies and immortality

Best hair growth remedies – conditional formatting of hair.

Hair is highly resistant to conditional formatting, obviously.

Writing “what if ” statements that will actually work with hair is problematic to say the least, and pretty much impossible to say the most.

Say, “the most.”

The world of conditional hair formatting gurus is small indeed, as indicated by the most recent numbers released by the U.S. Bureau of Indian Affairs; which paint a picture of few colors and even fewer conditional hair formatting gurus. It could be said that the picture painted by this report is monochrome, not Kodachrome; but that will not be said. Instead, it will be said that the picture painted by this report is one of only one color.

The mechanics of conditional hair formatting are difficult to grasp and even more difficult to see. This is why so many “authorities” on the subject of hair and best hair growth remedies steadfastly deny the very existence of those mechanics.

Silly “authorities.”

Ghosts are equally difficult to see; but are they any less real?

Conditional hair formatting and best hair growth remedies are like peas in a pod in that they are like dolphins – a group of dolphins is also called a “pod” – and as we all know, dolphins are not very spry when removed from water.

So we have established that conditional hair formatting gurus possess a rare quality and sort of an “extrasensory” type of thing that allows them to see ghosts. And we have also established that with the likelihood that hair and best hair growth remedies will certainly be a part of the future; that studies of conditional hair formatting can only increase as time goes on, and that said studies will migrate away form the realm of “theory” and toward the realm of “realms”, and once it has migrated it will surely immigrate, and once immigrated it will have to mitigate certain circumstances, which once mitigated will require suffragettes to read books, and we all know how dangerous it can be for women to read books.

They should only look at pictures.

Pictures painted by the latest study on conditional hair formatting as released by the U.S. Bureau of Indian Affairs.

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Best hair growth remedies – hair is not a “movable feast”.

Contrary to what you might be seeing in the media these days, hair is usually pretty much stationary. Sure, it moves around a bit when the wind blows, it moves a lot when you drive quickly down the street with your head out the car window and your tounge hanging out, as you do, but by and large, it just sits atop your head.

I do not mean to discriminate against those follicles not residing on the top of the head, but those are the focus of this discourse.

Hair isn’t “too smart”.

You can’t teach it many “tricks”.

It does not change color like a “chameleon”.

It is “trainable” but not “educable”.

It rarely votes.

Hair is notoriously fickle and likely to change it’s mind without notice, and fail to report to work the next day.

There are many programs available, and thanks to the economic stimulus, we are having McDonalds for dinner this evening.

If I could just use one word to sum up my lifetime of experience with hair, that one word would be: “Breasts”.

There is a “connection” between people with breasts and people with hair. I’m not sure just yet what that connection might be, but I am on it and I will not stop my scientific-styled investigation until I have examined all of the breasts that I can get my hands on.

More, later…

Best hair growth remedies – the other side of midnight.

In an effort to be all things to all people in terms of hair, I want to diverge from the topic of how to re-grow hair, and spend a moment addressing a different issue, a very different issue.

It is appalling how many people receive a summons to report for jury duty and then fail to actually report. Don’t they know that there is good money to be made by sitting on a jury? Especially if you are on an internet jury, because then you can just set your internet jury duty business on autopilot, go to the beach, have a few drinks and know the whole time that the money is just rolling in. Autopilot internet jury businesses are all the rage right now, and properly so. I mean, what other business can make you tons of money without doing any real work and allow you the opportunity to judge other people, and possibly ruin their lives, without first even getting elected to some office?

Autopilot internet jury businesses are the schizzz.

But what about hair?

Some people actually are not worried about re-growing hair. They actually have too much of it, and it affects their lives and their feelings of self confidence and self worth. It often causes them to be overlooked for employment opportunities, and sometimes even results in them being fired from a job just because they have suddenly developed too much hair.

We have had medical procedures around for a long time to help people deal with too much body fat, we have medical procedures that can either increase or decrease the size of the female breasts, but hopefully not one larger and one smaller (unless she is an attention whore), we even have procedures that can vastly increase the size of the male genitalia, even if only temporarily (as that is long enough).

So, I challenge the medical and scientific communities to stand up and make a difference. Find a safe and effective hair reduction procedure, do it now and make it affordable. It should be something that health insurance can cover. Sure, it means that health care providers will have another “specialty” to study in medical school, it might add months, if not years to the study of medicine; but I also believe that as soon as it is available; an entire industry of professionals will be created whose primary practice in life (and their livelihoods) will be derived from hair reduction procedures, and other types of serious medical practices.

Someday, just as today you can get eyeglasses at Wal-Mart; you might be able to go to a medical shop on the street corner, or a mall – and with little or no waiting – go “under the knife” and emerge with less hair than you went in with.

Think of the benefits to humanity – and the achieve it.

Best hair growth remedies – diabetes and hair loss

What is it with the Russians?

I thought they were all about dancing circus bears and downing whole bottles of vodka in a single sitting, but that would appear to not be the case. I’ve heard recently that they actually had spies living in the States collecting sensitive information concerning hair loss and best hair growth remedies, and passing that information back to Russia, obviously in an attempt to beat the U.S. in the neck and neck baldness cure race.

It must be totally commercial in nature though, because everyone knows that Russians are immune to baldness, suggesting that they are actually of Hispanic origin, just with different colored skin, eyes and hair. And language, and a few other unimportant differences.

The Russians want to corner the market on baldness cures even though it is well documented that there are no bald Russians, therefore they must be planning to hold the rest of the world hostage and “name their own price” once they have perfected the cure for baldness, using information stolen from the U.S. by the aforementioned spies.

This is a serious matter and needs immediate attention before they ever shoot the first baldness cure commercial using William Shatner as a spokes person, and probably even getting Leonard Nimoy to show up in a spot or two.

We got nukes – it would be a shame to never use them.

Make your feelings known - tell the Russians "NO" to the hijacking of hair loss cures!

Best hair growth remedies – how to piss off Hitler

It was the late 90’s and hair was just starting to come back into vogue, having been unpopular ever since that backlash from the 60’s that started in the 70’s. Women were smoking cigars in night clubs and some men were wearing nylons over their heads while committing acts of adultery; as you do.

I was thinking about Jayne Mansfield and wondering which of her husbands it was that had been killed in a boating\skydiving accident, when suddenly, it struck me.

This whole cigar-smoking thing was nothing more than a short-lived fad, rather much like the 50’s fad of young men wearing raccoon skin beards, but which is still popular with the youth in Asia today, as is euthanasia. Asian markets are, and have been, the largest importers of raccoon pelts, fueling the economic growth of Livingston, Alabama.

Hair growth remedies is an on going process that has no end. You must be as committed to succeeding as you would be committed to your marriage, but without the screwing around, even with a pair of nylons.

But I hear you wondering how Hitler fits into this picture.

Hitler, wearing gaywad pants, trying to look all bad ass

Here, he’s holding the “blood flag”, the very symbol of Nazism. The Nazi party began it’s climb to power after the “Beer Hall Putsch” of 1923. Obviously, any idea that’s cooked up in a beer hall by some rowdy Germans drinking beer (and they have strong beer over there) is of questionable merit, and it would probably be best to ponder on that for a while – like until you sober up. But no, they took it to the streets, caused a whole lot of trouble, and wound up being the supreme leaders of Germany after a brief stay over at Landsberg prison.

But the story doesn’t end there.

Hitler trying to look all badass

But how, you wonder, does Hitler fit into this picture?