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There are many enduring mysteries and unanswered questions from the earliest times of history:

What happened to the Incas and Mayas?

What happened to the settlers at Jamestown?

Dolly Parton; Are those REAL!?

Today, I want to look at a local enigma – the remnants of a vanished civilization, a vanished civilization that did great works which are still evident today, proving that their technology and engineering capabilities were substantial; in some cases exceeding our own; and for some reason, at some point, as a culture and as a civilization; they simply vanished without a trace; much like the entire population of Mexico; but unlike the entire population of Mexico; they have not later turned up primarily in Arizona, California and Texas; and a few in Idaho.

These people were builders and engineers – we can still see some of the structures they left behind, we can still see the roads that they built between cities or settlements, and from these enduring clues; we can draw logical assumptions about who these people were, what their concerns and interests were; and even information about their physical stature and personal habits.

This post is less about hair growth remedies and more about the historical record, but do not think that this post is totally off topic, as hair has been with us throughout history, and we think that these ancestors or predecessors  probably had hair, or at least knew of its existance in some species.

From this point onward, this post will utilize the fossil record, existing artifacts and flawless logic to determine who these people were, and why they suddenly abandoned a highly developed world, society and culture.

We will also employ photographic eveidence that not only will support; but prove; our logical conclusions.

Conclusion One:
These people were of small physical stature.
We know this because the roads that they built – some of which are still in use for pedestrian traffic – are much too narrow to accomodate our modern “economy size” vehicles, meaning that if they built this road as a “four lane” road, as it is reasonable to assume, then for four cars to occupy that road concurrently, those cars could be no more than about six inches wide.

This mandates that our mystery race was of small physical stature, or that they pioneered the concept of the “Clown Car” wherein many, many large people cram themselves into small, funny looking cars for humorous effect when disembarking.

The seriousness of their other works suggest that this was not the case.

Another plausible explantion is that in their cars, they did not sit; they stood – meaning that their cars would be less wide but more long.

There is evidence to indicate that that might have been the case, but it is hard to prove.

I will call this picture the “Alien Highway”; but we don’t know if they were aliens.

They were builders no doubt – every where you look there are structures, and even massive openings that must lead to huge underground shelters where they took refuge in times of threat or trouble.

WTF?

What are these strange structures which still stand, and which were critical to the survival of our missing civilization; as evidenced by their apparent need to reproduce them?

The most plausible theory that I have encountered, and which is supported by the known, true facts of the pre-history of this region as detailed by all of the history reports; is that this region was for centuries under water, therefore, obviously; this race of people were aquatic in nature; they did these great works while underwater; but they must have been burning water as fuel (extracting the hydrogen, as their scientists would); and as they burned water for fuel, they also depleted the source of their breathing.

After a few years, they took their great minds and went on.

That just makes sense.

It wasn’t too long ago, just a few lifetimes, when finding ethical hair was just as easy as finding a dishonest politician. One might even say that there was a preponderance of ethical hair, but if one should say that, they would be guilty of trying to use big, fancy words with lots of letters,  instead of smaller words that conserve letters and convey almost as much meaning.

With an alphabet that contains barely two dozen characters, it is important to conserve as many letters as possible while new letters are being developed, as anyone might understand.

There is some debate and discussion as to why the preponderance of ethical hair is diminishing, while at the same time the over abundance of dishonest politicians becomes even more over abundant, and it appears that in the case of the politicians it is due to the massive swelling of “government”, while in the case of hair, it is now obvious that it began with the “mullet”.

As evidence of this; I need only to offer some type of compelling evidence.

With that point now proven, we will turn our attention back to undivided.

Hair, in it’s many forms, can no longer be taken for granted; it can no longer be trusted and given the run of the place as in the past, it must be assumed that most hair may have intentions that are not obvious, not transparent; and the thicker the hair; the less transparent the intentions.

Hair, in fact, in order to be safe; should be treated like a red-headed step child.

It should be photographed and finger printed. It should be documented and undocumented. It must be held accountable at all costs and in every season.

This is especially true of suspected illegal hair that doesn’t display it’s nationality and origin.

If these facts disturb you, you are taking things way too seriously, as well you should.

I encourage you to write, telephone, fax and email your questions and concerns to the Bureau of Indian Affairs at:

Mailing Address:
Office of Public Affairs
Department of the Interior
MS-3658-MIB
1849 C Street, N.W.
Washington, D.C. 20240

Telephone: (202) 208-3710
Telefax: (202) 501-1516

feedback@bia.gov

Everywhere you turn these days, people are talking about all of the new baldness cures that are the market today. What a lot of people don’t know, and what some people don’t want you to know, is that most types of baldness came be cured with simple household products that you probably have in your kitchen cabinets, in your compost pile and in that metal cabinet where you keep dangerous chemicals locked up so that the neighborhood kids don’t fool around and get you arrested by getting themselves killed or blinded.

Truthfully, there is nothing wrong with some of the commercially available baldness treatments (click here to visit my store) but why not make use of the stuff you already have rather than buying more stuff, even if it does cause the local Greenpeace people to report you to the EPA, the IRS, the CPA, the BBC, NBC, or worse yet, Ben and Jerry’s.

There are many different but equally effective do it yourself baldness treatments that you can whip up from the comfort of your own kitchen or bathroom, although it is usually best with most of these to do it outside on a day that is slightly overcast, with a brisk wind blowing, so as to disperse the fumes and lessen somewhat, the probability of an explosion.

In this article, I will focus upon only one of these diy baldness cures, with others discussed in following write ups.

Firstly, you will need to make the preparations, and then assemble the necessary ingredients:

• Secure a “burn permit” if your local government requires one.
• Post a public notice of your intentions in your local newspaper and notify radio, TV stations, or other media sources such a mediums and apothecaries.
• Fast and pray fervently for thirty days.
• Get a checkup from your doctor, paying extra attention to cardiac health.
• Denounce Satan and all of His works.
• Just in case, make a deal with Satan and all of His works. Let’s be politically minded about this.

Now, you are ready to begin assembling the necessary ingredients, which if you are like me, you already have most of these items around the house:

• 1 pound of Spectracide ant poison granules.
• 1 ounce of Liquid Smoke.
• 14 ounces of plaster of paris (or 10 ounces of Quickcrete).
• 1 quart of DOT2 brake fluid.
• 2 teaspoons of black, white yellow pepper.
• 1\2 pound of smokeless gunpowder.
• 4 ounces of Nivea skin care cream.
• 2 tablespoons of French Market coffee (NO chickory!).
• 1 gallon of diesel fuel.
• 1 quart of Hidden Valley Ranch salad dressing.
• 1 pound of centipede grass seed (do not skip this step).
• 1 pound of Kraft Vegemite.
• And lastly, carefully shred 16 one-dollar bills, or 3 fives and a one, or a ten, a five and a one. If not from the US, check your currency exchange rates, try to use paper currency, or silver (gold will not work!).

Using a large mixing bowl shaped exactly like your head, add all of the above items and stir violently until smoke begins to rise, and the entire mixture begins to glow and hiss evil curses (about two days).

Be careful not to taunt or “make angry” the mixture during this stage.

Using a “Jump Start” battery or some other type of high amperage electrical discharge device, apply 1200 volts for six seconds, then run like hell, as if your life depended on it; as it does.

From a safe distance, watch as the mixture takes on the form of Satan; or some other popular politician, which will then accept cash money in return for empty promises, whilst figuring out ways to seduce young pages, whilst denouncing politicians who seduce young pages, and those who deliver empty promises for cash money.

There you have it.

Tomorrow, we will discuss another highly effective, but somewhat risky, diy baldness treatment.

Thanks for reading.