Contrary to what you might be seeing in the media these days, hair is usually pretty much stationary. Sure, it moves around a bit when the wind blows, it moves a lot when you drive quickly down the street with your head out the car window and your tounge hanging out, as you do, but by and large, it just sits atop your head.

I do not mean to discriminate against those follicles not residing on the top of the head, but those are the focus of this discourse.

Hair isn’t “too smart”.

You can’t teach it many “tricks”.

It does not change color like a “chameleon”.

It is “trainable” but not “educable”.

It rarely votes.

Hair is notoriously fickle and likely to change it’s mind without notice, and fail to report to work the next day.

There are many programs available, and thanks to the economic stimulus, we are having McDonalds for dinner this evening.

If I could just use one word to sum up my lifetime of experience with hair, that one word would be: “Breasts”.

There is a “connection” between people with breasts and people with hair. I’m not sure just yet what that connection might be, but I am on it and I will not stop my scientific-styled investigation until I have examined all of the breasts that I can get my hands on.

More, later…

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